


The Priority List

by Blue_day



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Clint Barton-centric, Daddy!Steve, Fluff, Gen, Insecure Clint Barton, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Multi, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Non-Sexual Age Play, Not Canon Compliant, daddy!Tony, little!Clint
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-30
Updated: 2020-01-18
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:28:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21613855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blue_day/pseuds/Blue_day
Summary: Tony has been a great daddy for Clint since he'd found out his 'little' secret. Steve was learning the ropes but was making an excellent effort. Then Bucky comes back and Clint feels he was reorganized on his place on the priority list of importance.After a month long mission with Natasha, Clint needs his daddies...who unfortunately are sent off on a mission of their own. But Bucky is there! That should be okay. Right?
Relationships: Clint Barton & Steve Rogers, Clint Barton & Tony Stark, James "Bucky" Barnes & Clint Barton, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 43
Kudos: 211





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look, imma be real with you readers, I gave up on watching the MCU movies. They did my baes dirty and I'm not down to clown. Don't hold me to whatever is cannon because its just not gonna happen.
> 
> колибри - hummingbird

Natasha kept giving him the side eye but Clint wasn’t in the mood. He already knew. He was exhausted, he looked like shit, his shirt was torn and there was some dirt on his face, the whole nine yards-he already knew. Not that she looked any better, but Nat was much better at hiding it than he was. At least to each other. On the outside, Clint knew he looked put together and no one would detect a thing. But on the inside, he felt moments away from dropping to the floor and refusing to move. Maybe have a small temper tantrum. Maybe sleep. Maybe both. At this point he didn’t know and he didn’t care. Natasha could see that. 

They were at SHIELD wrapping up the last important details and putting the small stuff to the side for later but blessedly alone in the office. 

“We’re almost done колибри.” Natasha said, not taking her eyes off the paperwork. 

“I’m not little right now.” 

“No, but you want to be.”

“What I want is a hot shower and sleep for three days.” 

“Of course,” she said with a knowing smirk. “Let me file this and we can be on our way.” 

“Sounds good.”

Sure enough, moments later they were walking down the hall to leave when a familiar sight that would have normally given him joy, made Clint’s heart drop. 

Tony and Steve were walking towards them, but Steve was in his gear and Tony was carrying the familiar briefcase in one hand, and Steve's in his other. 

They both smiled when they spotted Clint and Natasha. Steve looked over his shoulder and glanced around the area. Seeing no one, he dropped Tony's hand, took several long strides towards Clint and wrapped him in a tight hug. 

Clint froze up, shocked that Steve would do this in public, let alone at all. Sure there was no one physically here but the cameras-

“I’ve got the feeds in here on a loop darling, don’t worry,” Tony’s reassuring voice floated over to him as he set a comforting hand on Clint’s arm. He must have immediately sensed Clint's fear, but Tony was normally two steps ahead like that.

“Oh,” he mumbled, feeling the anxiety melt out of him as he relaxed into Steve’s arms. While Tony had been his main caregiver for a while now, Steve was just getting comfortable with his regression. Or so he thought. Maybe Steve was much more comfortable with this--him--now. They’d all come a long way from a rocky start. Steve had concerns that Tony was going to leave him for Clint, that was when his littlespace was still secret and only Tony knew about it. 

So much time hidden on Clint’s floor or locked down in the lab together with no answer wasn’t exactly reassuring. If it weren’t for Natasha setting Steve straight, Clint was sure that everything would have fallen apart. Tony maybe would have been able to smooth things over with Steve but Clint was certain that Steve would have never accepted him, his age play, and that would put an end to having a daddy. Clint clenched his jaw, trying not to think about how he was nearly alone again.

“We missed you sweetheart.” Steve said, pressing a kiss to the top of his head, then tucking him under his chin. A long way indeed.

“Missed you too,” Clint mumbled but relaxed.

“Okay Steve, enough hogging him, I want a hug too.” Tony said, prodding and pulling at Steve’s arms. 

  
Steve chuckled and released him from the hug, but kept his hands on Clint’s arms as he passed him to Tony.

“Hey sweetpea,” Tony said, squeezing him in close. 

Steve and Natasha smiled at him as he closed his eyes and leaned into the embrace.

“How did the mission go Nat?” Steve asked.

“A lot of hurrying to wait.” she replied rolling her eyes. “It was tedious but it's done and at least we’re on leave for a little while.”

“Good. You both look like you need a break.” Tony commented running a hand down Clint’s side to feel for injuries.

“‘M okay,” he protested but didn’t pull away. 

“Just humor me honey.” 

“If you won't go to medical you should at least listen to your daddy, Clint.” she said, a glint in her eye.

_ You tattletale _ Clint thought, shooting a glare her way as Steve also started to search him for injuries. 

“What happened?” Steve asked in a worried rush. 

“Nothing, got knocked around a bit.”

“He’s got a small concussion. He’s probably more sore than anything, but he’s been favoring his left side for a few days now.” 

Clint made a noncommittal sound and snuggled closer into Tony’s arms. He was irritated that she told on him but right now he was more irritated that he was starting to slip. He was trying to fight being little but having his daddy here was making it harder and harder. Daddy would be able to make the aches stop, or at least get him comfortable so he could rest.

“Are you hurting, sweetheart?” Steve asked, stepping in closer and wrapping his arms around both of them.

“No,” Clint replied. “Sore.” He added as an afterthought. 

“My poor baby,” Tony muttered gently to him. His hand no longer searching but rather stroking Clint’s side up and down gently.

“I take it you two aren’t here to pick us up.” Natasha said after a moment.

“Unfortunately not.” Tony sighed. “Steve and I have to meet with some foregin diplomats for whatever bullshit it is now.”

“Tony,” Steve scolded as he did whenever Clint was little and Tony swore. “It’s not BS. It is ridiculous that they need us for this though.” 

“Like I said, bullshit.”

“Tony-”

“You’re going ‘way?” Clint asked in a small voice. Okay, yes, Natasha was right. He did want to be little. He’ll admit it. The last five days of this mission made him ache for Tony and Steve and the thought of being little by himself for an untold amount of time was making him start to tear up.

“It’ll only be for a couple days darling.” Tony tried to soothe him, swaying them slightly. 

Steve released them and walked over to a conference room door, opened it and peeked inside. Seeing it was empty, he gestured an open hand for them to go inside. Tony started tugging at him towards the room but didn’t let go as he walked them into the empty room. Natasha followed in behind them and closed the door, locking it. 

Steve pulled a chair out and sat down then held a hand out to Clint. “Come here sweetheart,” he said softly and smiling at him. 

Clint looked at Tony, watery eyed and unsure but Tony gave him a kind smile and lightly pushed him towards Steve. Clint slowly walked toward him and took his hand. Steve’s smile widened as he pulled Clint closer and sat him down on his lap. He arranged Clint so he was leaning against Steve’s broad chest and wrapped his arms around him. 

Tony pulled up a chair and sat in front of Clint, pulling Clint’s feet into his lap. He gently massaged at Clint’s legs as he spoke, “Darling I am so sorry that we have to go away, but it's only going to be for a couple of days.”

“Three sleeps at most honey.” Steve chimed in.

Clint swallowed thickly and closed his eyes to try and hold back the tears. He had just spent the past month crawling around a jungle in South America and desperately missed all the comforts of home, obviously including Steve and Tony. It wouldn’t be an issue if he wasn’t feeling so little, but his head still sort of hurt and his right leg and shoulder and really all of his right side was really aching, bordering on painful, and they hadn’t even gotten home yet and-

Clint took in a deep shuddering breath to stop his train of thoughts.

“It’s okay,” he said as confidently as he could. “I understand.” He looked up at Tony, who was frowning and looked worried.

“Darling I know just before you left we were having issues-”

“Really, Tony,” he said the man’s name for emphasis, he wasn’t an actual baby, he could handle this. He could be big. He would be. “I’m okay.” He pulled his feet off of Tony’s lap and moved away from Steve to stand.

“Clint,” Tony said sternly, “listen to me please.” Clint wanted to get up and storm out but Steve’s grip on him hadn’t loosened in the slightest so he gave a short nod.

“I know we were having issues just before you left, and I know that this was a very difficult mission. As soon as Fury decided we needed to go I immediately tried to get at least one of us to stay. Believe me honey, I tried everything. But it would’ve dragged it out and cause more problems for all of us, so we decided to go and get it over with as quickly as we can, okay? You’re only going to be without us for four days at most. I promise.”

Clint nodded but wasn’t overly convinced. He knew better than to put a timeline on these things, as they usually were stretched out unexpectedly and dragged on. 

“And you’ll have Aunt Tasha,” Steve added gently, pulling him back towards his chest. “And Uncle Bruce and Uncle Thor. And Bucky.”

At Bucky’s name, Clint again felt his heart drop but didn’t react or say anything. 

A couple of days before he and Natasha were called away, Tony started to bring up the idea of Bucky playing with them. Just small things here and there, ‘oh I bet Bucky would love to watch Frozen with you, he loves Disney movies.’ and ‘I heard Bucky makes the best hot chocolate, we should ask for his recipe.’ Clint knew what he was doing. He did the same thing when he was trying to introduce Steve to their age play. Clint resolutely ignored Daddy every time he brought it up, which resulted in Steve deflating a little and Tony would get that look on his face when he was annoyed that he couldn’t figure out a solution.

But Clint just wasn’t ready. When Bucky came back Steve and Tony had practically disappeared. Logically he knew they had to be there for Bucky, but it still hurt. And realistically, it wasn’t like they  _ actually _ disappeared. In fact, they still played with him and took care of him and everything. They never strayed from their scheduled time or their impromptu time. But it felt like they weren’t there. Tony would be working on his computer instead of watching the movie-which fair enough, grown ups didn’t always like cartoons and Clint was sure that after the tenth rendition of Let It Go, Tony had stopped paying attention to the movie. Tony was busy, it made sense. Clint should be thankful that Tony even bothered to spend any of his free time with him at all.

And Steve would be sketching but he would often pause and stare out the window with a thousand yard stare. It felt like he was going through the motions and not actively there, but Clint thought that he was just reading too deep into it. Artists were just like that sometimes, right? 

Hearing that they wanted to bring Bucky in felt like they were trying to pass him off to someone else. Or that they could no longer stand to be just around Clint and needed someone else there. Or, and most likely, they wanted to spend time with Bucky but Clint was taking up all of their free time. It would only be a matter of time before they left him. Clint knew this, and he knew that it’s best to take advantage of opportunities when they arise. So he would take all their affection and the cuddles and the love and store it in his heart so at least he’d have the memories to look back on.

Clint leaned his forehead on Steve’s collarbone and nodded. He wished he had a pacifier so he didn’t have to talk. 

He could feel Natasha’s eyes on him but ignored her and wrapped his arms around Steve to return the hug. 

Steve lit up immediately and gave him a gentle squeeze. 

“We don’t have to be downstairs for an hour or so. Want me to put cartoons on my phone and we can cuddle for a while?”

Nothing sounded better as Tony pulled his feet back on his lap and smiled warmly at him. Clint heard the three of them begin to discuss something mission related that was probably important but he couldn’t find the energy to pay attention to what they were saying. Not when Daddy was rubbing his feet and Steve was so comfortable. He’d deal with missing them later. Besides, he was going to be big when he got home. He wouldn’t need Tasha or Bruce or Thor. Or Bucky. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am working on an 'origin' story so to speak, but this popped in my head while I was working on it. 
> 
> Clint loves Frozen. So do I. No I haven't seen Frozen 2 yet :C.
> 
> I'm on tumblr @bluedays-writing


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (0u0) thank you all for the kudos & comments! This fic is mostly self indulgent so I'm super glad you're enjoying it too :D

Clint tried not to fidget about as he rode the elevator up to the penthouse. He didn’t like being up there when Tony wasn’t home, but he was tired and he really just wanted his teddy bear. He figured he’d grab it, maybe the big purple sweater, then go back to his floor and shower and sleep. He originally intended to just crash in his room and deal with everything later, but when he got home, standing on his floor alone and in between headspaces, he felt scared. The lights were out and it was so quiet. JARVIS had turned on the lights and assured him no one was there, but his teddy would make him feel better either way. 

So discovering that it wasn’t on his floor lead him to where he was now.

Tony built him his own little room, calling it 'the nursery' to Clint’s humiliation, and that was where he kept most of his toys and everything else these days. There were still a few little things that were on his floor (and other floors as it wasn’t such a closely guarded secret anymore and he could spread out), but he wanted his teddy. And it wasn’t on his floor which means it was upstairs. In the nursery. 

  
“JARVIS?”

“Yes Agent Barton?”

Clint bit his lip. “Where is everyone?” 

“Agent Romanoff is on her floor, Doctor Banner is in his Lab, Prince Odinson is in the gym, and Sergeant Barnes is watching television on the couch.”

Phew. That meant he could go up, grab his stuff, and get out without running into Bucky. He wasn’t trying to avoid Bucky-he would have done the same if it had been anyone else. He wasn’t in the mood to deal with anyone. 

“Are you in need of someone Clint?” JARVIS only called Clint by his first name when he was little. It was nice to have that clear distinction between when he was big and when he was little. But if JARVIS was aware that Clint was little, then he’d enact the babysitting protocol, which wasn’t necessary. It wasn’t much, it was just a notification to the nearest caregiver that he was little and where he was for them to go find him. But it was a little annoying. He wasn’t a  _ real _ baby. He could be alone for a bit when he was little.

Even if it was nice that Tony wanted someone to be with him when he was little, times like right now when he really didn’t want to interact with anyone made it feel invasive. 

“No thank you. I just want my sweater and then I’m going to bed.”

“If you insist young sir.”

Clint bit his cheek so he wouldn’t yell at JARVIS. 

The elevator dinged and Clint stepped out into the penthouse, the sound of a sitcom playing from the television immediately hit him. Clint looked over to see Bucky on the couch, who looked over at him and smiled and waved. 

“Hey man,” Bucky acknowledged him, distracted by the show. 

“Hey.” he replied, as neutral as possible. JARVIS didn’t exactly lie to him, but he certainly intentionally misled him. 

“Welcome back. Everything go okay?”

“Yeah fine. Typical fair, you know the drill.”

Bucky nodded. “Glad you’re back safe.”

“Thanks.” Clint pauses a moment, feeling awkward. “I think I left my sweater up here last time,” he began moving towards the room. 

“Gotcha. Do you need help?” It was an olive branch, Clint knew. 

“To find my sweater?” He asked jokingly. “I think I got it man.”

Bucky just nodded, not put off by the sarcasm. “Just let me know if you need me.”

Clint gave him a quizzical look. “Sure.” Then went down the hall and into the nursery. 

Being over a month since he was last here, he felt his iron grip on being big waiver. His toys were nicely put away and his little bed was made up-his teddy, Aja, was sitting propped up by the pillows. He bit his lip to stop himself from making an embarrassingly loud happy squee and quickly walked over to the bed and scooped up Aja. 

Clint held him tight in his arms and buried his face into the soft texture, swaying slightly. He glanced longingly at his bed, the purple comforter with the gray arrow pattern was calling out to him. He stood there for a long moment, debating on just crawling into bed here. 

He hadn’t even showered yet and felt dead on his feet. He could easily just lay down here and after only catching power naps the entire last week, he didn’t think anyone would blame him if he crashed. His eyes felt heavier the longer he stood there. After a few moments, he was brought back to the present by the faint canned laughter of the sitcom Bucky was watching in the other room.

He couldn’t do this while Bucky was here. He’d never be able to live it down.

Sighing deeply, he steeled his nerves and went over to the closet. Aja still in his arms. 

His big sweater was folded nicely on a shelf. It felt so soft in his hands and smelled fresh. Tony (Or Steve?) must have washed it recently. They knew it was his favorite and was one of his favorite comfort items when he was little and he’d want it the second he got home. The thought that they went out of their way to make sure he could be as comfortable as possible warmed his heart and made his eyes water slightly. 

_ No! Stop it, Clint. _ He chided himself, angrily rubbing at his eyes. The water works needed to stop. He knew it was because he was just so overly tired but for fuck’s sake he needed to get a grip on himself. He needed to at least make it back down to his floor and lock it down. 

_Aja._ _Sweater_ . _ Shower. Bed. _ He repeated this as a mantra and nodded to himself. 

Clint was just about to walk back out to the elevator when he froze. He told Bucky he was coming in here for his sweater. Not his teddy bear. He glanced down at Aja in one hand and his sweater in the other. Okay. No big deal. He nodded and muttered a quick ‘sorry’ to Aja then wrapped him in the sweater. It was a big sweater after all, and if it looked like he just haphazardly grabbed it, Bucky would be none the wiser. 

Honestly, Clint was certain that Bucky knew about his age play and how Tony and Steve were involved. You can’t date two men who frequently spend time with another man, and live on a floor with a nursery room which was clearly too large for an actual child and not put two and two together. And Tony’s previously mentioned attempts to get Clint comfortable with Bucky around when he was little implied that the three of them had definitely talked before about it.

But knowing about it and being okay with it were two different things. Steve knew for awhile before joining in and Clint still wasn’t convinced he was on board. And new people were scary.

Taking a deep breath, he left his little room and headed towards the elevator.

“You find it?” Bucky asked as he passed by. “You were in there for a bit.” Bucky was finishing up a text and glanced up at him. 

“Yeah,” Clint said, holding up the sweater. “It was buried in the closet.” He paused. “I’ll see you around,” Clint headed towards the elevator.

“Hang on man, I haven’t seen you in a month. Want a beer and watch the game with me? Dodgers are playing.”

He wanted apple juice if he was being honest with himself. But truthfully, he had been avoiding Bucky when he was big. Little him ignoring it was a completely different issue. Bucky was his teammate, he had to have that balance or things on the field would be awkward. And besides, it's just a beer.

“Alright sure. You do know that the Dodgers are in LA now though, right?”

“They weren’t the LA Dodgers until the 50s. Besides, the Yankees came from Baltimore so it’s not like anyone’s really keeping track.”

Clint smirked and joined Bucky on the couch. He carefully placed his sweater in his lap, tucking it under itself to keep his cargo safe. 

“What kind of beer do you want?”

“Whatever man, I’m not picky. So long as it’s not any of that IPA crap.”

“Course.” Bucky switched on the game and went into the kitchen. 

Clint relaxed a bit on the couch, if he wanted to be big then this was the way to go about it. Beer and baseball and guy stuff. This was actually perfect. He could knock out spending time with Bucky and not feel guilty about it, and he could be big and hold out until he made it back to his floor later tonight. 

Bucky came back with two beer bottles and handed one to Clint. 

“Thanks.”

They watched the game and Clint tried his best to follow along with Bucky’s commentary. He nodded at the right moments and gave his two cents when asked. He liked baseball enough but by the bottom of the fifth, his eyes blinked closed and didn’t open again. He hadn’t touched his beer at all. 

He wasn’t very comfortable and was a little cold when he felt himself being moved. He whined but didn’t open his eyes.

“Shh, it’s alright buddy.” A gentle voice spoke to him as strong hands maneuvered him so he was laying flat. His shoes, socks, and jeans were tugged off and sweatpants were pulled on him. 

He was sat up and stripped of his shirt, “no,” he whined quietly. 

“Okay, okay,” he was hushed again and his sweater was put on him.

He was then pulled onto a solid chest and laid down again and Aja put into his arms.

“Sleep tight doll.”

And then he was out.

~*~*~

Bucky cuddled Clint close to his chest, he'd draped the baby so Clint was lying on top of him.

Was he abusing his power in this situation? Probably. But he’d feel guilty about it later. For now it felt nice to finally be holding Clint in his arms.

Before Steve and Tony left they asked if he’d be willing to look out for Clint. Apparently it wasn’t unusual for him to slip into little space after a hard mission, and the text updates they’d gotten from Natasha had them both worried. And while Natasha was capable of taking care of Clint, she’d been exhausted herself. 

  
  


Bucky was elated to finally be able to take care of Clint. He loved kids, he loved caring for kids, and overall, he loved his boyfriends and their kid. Sure it was an odd situation but just because he hadn’t encountered it personally before doesn't mean he was against it. It was just the first time he'd heard about it and he _loved_ it.

Natasha, Tony and Steve had all texted him asking for help and Bucky jumped at the opportunity. He’s been biding his time and being patient and now the chance had finally arrived. 

  
  


Before they left, Tony made a list for Bucky of Clint’s favorites and his boundaries and put it on the fridge. Most of it was pretty straight forward-watch the sweet intake, Clint preferred soy milk over regular milk because regular milk makes his stomach hurt, bed time was 9 pm at the latest, double check on injuries because he tended to hide them. Clint preferred apple or grape juice, he liked vegetables but only if they’re cooked, don't lose sight of his teddy bear and so on and so forth.

Of course when Clint was more comfortable with Bucky they’d have to sit down and discuss expectations and the like. But from the sound of Tony’s breakdown, Bucky was onboard with it all and wanted to be involved with a desire that shocked him. 

Bucky knew he had to play his cards right here. Clint had been so stressed about Steve...Bucky knew they had a rough start but he hadn’t pressed for details. He would wait for Steve and Tony to tell him about it, no matter how much he would like to avoid repeating the same mistakes.

Clint sniffled a little and squirmed in his sleep, so Bucky hushed him and stroked down his back until he settled. He distantly wondered if he should have put a pull up on Clint before holding him but he wasn’t overly worried. Clint hadn’t touched his beer and he’d had worse accidents on his person. It was more for Clint. If he should have an accident while sleeping on top of Bucky, well, that would certainly send all of this to a screaming halt.

Bucky ran his fingers through Clint’s hair. It was greasy and desperately needed washing, but that would be for later. 

His phone buzzed a moment later. He grabbed it and saw a text from Natasha. 

_ How’s it going? _

_ He just fell asleep. I put him in some comfortable clothes and I’m holding him. _

_ And he let you? _

_ Well he fell asleep first.  _

_ I’m surprised he stayed with you for the game. He must be feeling really rough. _

Bucky glanced down at the bundle in his arms. He could see the deep black bags under his eyes, and a bit of dried blood behind his ear. 

_ He looks beat. _

_ :/ You should have seen him with Tony & Steve. I’m worried. You sure this is the right way to go about it? _

_ Easier to ask forgiveness than permission. _

_ True.  _

_ If nothing else, he’ll get some sleep and I cooked a nice dinner so he’ll get something to eat. If its too much, when he’s big again he can tell me to fuck off. But I’m not about to leave a baby alone.  _

_ No you’re right, I just wanted to let you know his anxiety over this. When Steve hugged him he looked like he was gonna fall over. He was alone for so long, and while I think Tony was one of the best things to happen to him in a long time, Tony Stark never does anything in halves.  _

Bucky chuckled.  _ You can say that again. _

_ He was so overwhelmed at having someone who cared about him, and then the thing with Steve...I think he feels like he’s gonna break you guys up. _

_ As if that would happen.  _

_ Well you and I both know that, but Clint will need you to show him that. Be gentle with him, alright? _

Bucky frowned at that. He knew she was just being overprotective but...  _ Of course. Get some rest.  _

_ Will do. Let JARVIS know if you need me.  _

Bucky put his phone down and picked up the remote. He put the volume low but he was barely paying attention to the game. His focus was on the baby in his arms, who’s thumb had migrated to his mouth. Bucky grimaced. He doubted Clint washed his hands since coming to the tower. He pulled Clint’s hand away from his mouth eliciting another whine from him but quickly pushed a pacifier in his mouth and gently rubbed his back. 

“You’re okay baby,” he murmured. 

Now all there was to do was wait. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor anxiety birb. Sometimes the best way is the direct way ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> I will be updating weekly on Fridays! Next Friday is a maybe though, I am graduating and plan to do the excessive drinking.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for your patience! Hope you enjoy :)

Clint woke up feeling incredibly comfortable. He didn’t really remember falling asleep but he didn’t want to get up now. He sighed, feeling the best he had in a month, even with the aches and throbbing headache. He lazily sucked on the pacifier in his mouth. Did he grab that? He couldn’t recall but found he didn’t really care either. 

His pillow was radiating heat and he snuggled closer. And then his pillow chuckled.

Clint froze. His pillow was breathing. And had a heartbeat. Clint held his own breath and looked up. Bucky was smiling down at him with bright eyes.

“Morning doll. Or evening I suppose.” Bucky said softly. 

Clint gasped, jaw dropping, his pacifier falling out and to his modification Bucky caught it before it rolled onto the ground. He needed to be big  _ now _ .

“Uh,” Clint said intelligently, “sorry about that, I guess I was more tired than I thought. I didn’t mean to fall asleep on you.” He made a move to push himself off of Bucky but his right arm buckled and he fell back down onto Bucky with a grunt. It  _ really  _ hurt but his pride was damaged enough, he really couldn’t afford to cry in front of Bucky.

“Hey hey take it easy hun,” Bucky said, he rubbed his hand on Clint’s good shoulder, feeling him trembling. 

“Yeah, right, sorry I’ll get going-“

“Clint, doll, relax.”

“Relax? Bucky-“

“It’s alright. I put you here.”

“W-what?” Clint glanced down and saw he’d been changed into sweatpants and his sweater and felt his heart drop. Bucky changed him too?

“Your arm hurting you?” 

Caught off guard, Clint paused a moment. “Uh yeah, it’s just really tight.” Clint swallowed thickly and again tried to move but Bucky’s hands landed on his shoulders and began to massage. Clint gasped at the pressure and felt his traitor body begin to relax into Bucky again. Bucky smiled and continued his ministrations for several minutes, watching Clint’s eyes flutter shut again. He stopped after a bit and wrapped his arms around Clint’s shoulders. 

“I bet a nice hot bath will do you some good too. But I think something to eat first. How’s that sound doll?”

Clint hesitated for a moment, feeling conflicted. Bucky put him into this position-physically and mentally- but it didn’t feel forced. He was willing to bet if he told Bucky to knock it off and let him go, he would. He wasn’t sure if he should be big and get the hell out of there, or if he should just accept this coddling for what it was, and just like his thoughts about Tony and Steve-take it in and enjoy the moment before being left high and blind on the wayside. 

Clint bit his lip, holding back a whine. He was still so tired and his head was still throbbing. It was getting harder to ignore it. His stomach felt funny too. 

“Clint?”

“Yeah, sure,” he managed through a tight throat. 

“Oh baby,” Bucky said voice full of sympathy and Clint felt his fingers comb through his hair. Clint subconsciously leaned into it a little bit. “We’re okay. I’m gonna take care of you and if you hate it just tell me to stop and I will, alright? But I have a feeling you’re feeling pretty little right now, huh?”

Clint just nodded, squeezing his eyes closed. 

“Alright, I really don’t think you should be alone right now, but if you don’t want me I’ll call your Aunt Tasha.”

Clint bit his lip, but shook his head. Natasha needed a break, and if Bucky was offering...he decided then and there to take this as far as he could. If Bucky was going to take care of him, then he could at least be in his room with his stuffed animals, rather than cold and alone on his own floor. And it wasn't like he was going to take advantage of Bucky. He was just going to use the rest of the day to get some rest, then he'd be righted in the morning. 

“That’s good doll. You’re so good.” Bucky grabbed the discarded pacifier and pressed it lightly against Clint’s lips. Clint opened his mouth and melted in relief. He was grateful to get it back. Maybe it was cowardly but no one expected him to talk when he had his pacifier. 

“Good boy,” Bucky said softly into Clint’s hair before dropping a kiss on his head. He felt his stomach do flips but didn’t respond. “I know you’re nervous about me, and we’ll talk more about this when you’re bigger, but I want you to know I am so happy right now Clint.”

Clint slowly opened his eyes and shifted to look at Bucky. 

“I’ve been itching to hold you doll. I can’t tell you how jealous I’ve been of Tony and Stevie.”

Clint furrowed his brow and then grimaced from the movement. Bucky frowned and stopped combing his hair. 

“I think we need to get some painkillers in you. And some food in your tummy.” 

“Noo,” Clint garbled through the soother.

“No? Aren’t you hungry?”

“Feel gross.”

“Do you feel like you’re gonna throw up?”

Clint nodded miserably.

“Aw doll,” Bucky said sympathetically “it’s probably because you haven’t eaten in so long.”

Clint whined and closed his eyes again, then slowly and timidly laid his head back down on Bucky’s chest.

“I’m sure that concussion probably isn’t helping either…”

Bucky continued to pet Clint’s hair for a few more minutes before nodding to himself, mind made up. He pulled Clint closer to him and moved, standing with Clint in his arms. Clint gasped in fear and squirmed so he could wrap his arms around Bucky’s neck. 

“I’ve gotcha honey, don’t you worry.” Bucky said, patting Clint’s bottom.

Clint felt himself flush and buried his face in Bucky’s neck. 

“I had made some nice lasagna for tonight but I think that might be too heavy on your tummy. Let’s try some soup instead and see how you feel.”

Clint just shook his head, feeling more nauseous than before now that he was upright.

“Hmm, well we’ll see. Your daddy told me you say you don’t like things that you do.”

“M’sh room.” 

“Mushroom soup? I think that’s a bit heavy too but we can give it a shot.”

Clint nodded and squeezed Bucky a little tighter. Now that he was awake and so little, hearing Bucky talk about Tony...he really wanted daddy. He wanted daddy and he wanted everything to stop hurting. He started tearing up again but this time he didn’t try and fight it. He sniffed weakly.

“I know baby, I know,” Bucky said sweetly. Bucky began to hum an old song softly as he took them into the kitchen and opened the pantry. Normally he’d make the soup from scratch with his new passion for cooking he didn’t like to use precooked or preserved foods if he could get away with it. He felt bad to be forgoing a homemade meal, but with Clint softly crying into his neck, he didn’t want to waste any more time. 

He grimaced as he found a can of mushroom soup but figured it would have to be good for now. Doing a quick survey he saw there was also a can of chicken noodle soup, which would be better for Clint if he decided he didn’t want mushroom.

He grabbed both cans and got to work. 

It was a little awkward trying to cook with one hand and holding a baby in the other, but Bucky got the swing of balancing it quickly.

It was calming as he stirred the soup on the hot stove with one hand and held Clint with the other. He rocked back and forth from foot to foot as Clint calmed down. Bucky noticed that his grip was looser on his right arm and made a mental note to rub some of that menthol and eucalyptus lotion Steve had picked up for Tony. Steve told him that Clint hadn’t and wouldn’t go to medical and Bucky had the feeling that if he were to try and push it too it likely wouldn’t go over at all. 

So if nothing was broken and there was no internal bleeding, Bucky could appreciate trying to avoid the fuss over sore muscles. But it wasn’t exactly easy to sleep when every movement was painful. 

Bucky leaned his head on Clint’s. “Just about done,” he murmured and moved to get a bowl. He ladled a couple spoonfuls of soup into a bowl, grabbed the Hawkeye themed spoon and took Clint and the soup over to the table.

“Let’s try some soup,” he said walking over to the table and sitting down. He meant to sit Clint down at the chair opposite him but didn’t quite want to put him down yet, so he maneuvered Clint so he was holding him more bridal style and sat down placing Clint in his lap. 

He picked up the spoon and stirred the soup a bit, letting it cool down. 

“Clint?” Bucky leaned back a bit. Clint still had his face buried in Bucky’s neck.  “Come on doll, your soup is ready.”

“Nooo,” Clint whined. He had stopped trying to hug Bucky around his neck and had dropped his hands to clutch Bucky’s upper arms. 

“Just a few bites?”

Clint lifted his head and Bucky used his free hand to wipe the tear tracks away from his face. He smiled softly and took the pacifier, getting another whine, and put it on the table. 

He got a spoonful of soup and held it up to Clint’s mouth. 

Clint frowned, look at the spoon then to Bucky. “I can feed myself.”

“I never said you couldn’t.” Bucky replied patiently. 

Clint eyes the spoon for a few moments before slowly opening his mouth and letting Bucky feed him. 

Clint ended up eating nearly all the soup before turning his head away and tucking his face back into Bucky’s shoulder.

“Wow buddy, you ate almost everything. Good job,” Bucky praised, rubbing Clint’s back. Clint squeezed his eyes closed and tried to ignore the feeling blooming in his chest. 

He had to be careful. He knew that there was an end date on this. He knew that as soon as Steve and Tony got back, Bucky would tell them that this was too weird. That an adult acting like a baby was really fucked up and as the Winter Soldier, he’d seen some fucked up shit. And then it would be all over. Clint would be left in the dust. He’d known for a while that all of this was on a timer. That on the list of importance he was not exactly a priority. 

The best he could do was go with the flow and hope that at the end of all of this, he’d still be friends with them.

Bucky felt Clint tensing up and sighed internally. “How about a bath?” He asked, hooking an arm under Clint's knees and standing up. Clint gasped and grabbed at Bucky’s arms again.

“No bath,” Clint whined.

“Shower?”

Clint bit his lip but nodded. Bucky swiftly moved them to Tony’s bathroom. Clint loved how obnoxiously big everything was in here. His own floor also had similar features, the giant soaker tub and walk-in shower so big you’d think someone was originally making a walk in closet and decided to tile it last second, but Tony’s was still better. 

Bucky sat Clint down on the counter and reached for his sweater. 

“Arms up for me doll,” Clint did his best but his shoulder ached and he winced. 

“Hey hey don’t hurt yourself sweetie, I can tug it off you.”

“But. It’s my sweater.”

Bucky chuckled. “I know, it’s your favorite sweater. I won’t rip it.”

Clint gave him a hard stare. 

“I promise,” Bucky responded with an easy smile. 

Clint nodded and let Bucky pull it over his head.

“There we go, see?” Bucky held the sweater up. “You sure you don’t want a bath doll? I don’t think you’re big enough for a shower.”

“I can do it!” Clint insisted hopping off the counter. 

“Are you sure?”

“I’m a big boy!” Clint said with a scowl, grabbing the hem of his shirt.

“I know.” Bucky nodded. “Can I help with your shirt at least?”

Clint paused, “okay.” He said in a small voice. 

Bucky helped him take the shirt off and then took a step back. 

“I’ll get your pajamas while you hop in the shower,” Bucky said, "just holler if you need me," he left the room but left the door open a little.

Clint stood there for a few moments, staring at the door. He felt really confused but he was starting to chalk all this up to his concussion. Could you have vivid hallucinations with a concussion? He didn't think so. He hadn't in the past. He sighed and moved to take off his pants and got the shower going.

The second the hot water hit his skin, Clint sighed and leaned against the shower wall. The hot water felt so nice, he was dozing slightly just standing there. Maybe a bath would have been a better idea...he would have had his toys too. But that would have required Bucky’s help. He didn’t need Bucky’s help. He was a big boy after all. He certainly didn’t want it, and he most certainly wasn’t starting to develop feelings of hope for a  ~~third~~ second parent. 

Clint squeezed his eyes shut for the umpteenth time that night. It was silly but he felt like if he closed his eyes hard enough he could pretend that this wasn’t happening. That it was just him on his floor in his own shower. After all, this is what it would be like tomorrow anyways. Alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I had a few different paths for this chapter but I liked how this one turned out the best (0u0)
> 
> I will update again on Friday!
> 
> I'm on tumblr @bluedays-writing


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops this was supposed to go up yesterday but I unexpectedly went out last night after work. 
> 
> So, here we are!

Bucky will openly admit to anyone who asked that he absolutely did not want to leave Clint alone in the bathroom. He supposed he put too much hope into Clint letting him give him a bath but he thought that the promise of easing the pain of sore muscles would have been a good enough bribe. 

He stood beside the door until he heard the water turn on. He might not have gotten bath time with the baby, but he’ll definitely get story time and maybe if he played his cards right, a bottle. But first he needed to get the kitchen in order.

Bucky moved swiftly, gathering the dishes and scrubbing them in the sink. It wasn’t much to clean up and he figured he’d have enough time to make himself a quick sandwich before getting on with the rest of his plan. 

Bucky had one last trick up his sleeve, and knew that no matter what headspace Clint was in, he wouldn’t be able to resist. The man lived for chocolate, whether that was chocolate ice cream, a chocolate bar, or like what Bucky had planned, chocolate milk. 

He filled the electric kettle with water, and got a bottle prepped. He’d wait to get Clint in bed before getting the bottle, maybe even waiting until he was close to sleeping before bringing it out. It’d be an easy way to get the painkillers in him too.

Bucky left the kitchen and headed back to Clint’s room, snagging the teddy bear from the couch on the way, and grabbed some avengers themed pajamas and his purple sweater. 

He then wandered over to the bookshelf and glanced through the titles. Tony had warned Bucky that Clint tended to cycle through the same three books and if Bucky wanted to keep his sanity, he should forgo asking what Clint wants and just pick one instead. Otherwise he’d be reading the novelizations of disney movies and is guaranteed to be watching them all day tomorrow. Which was fine, Bucky had some ideas for crafts and television on in the background would be perfect. 

For tonight however, he settled on reading Holes by Louis Sachar. 

By the time he was finished with everything, it had been nearly half an hour and he heard he shower still going. Bucky frowned and walked back over to the bathroom. 

“Clint? You alright in here doll?”

No answer. 

“Clint?” Bucky knocked on the door, he’d left it ajar and glanced in. He could see the silhouette of Clint in the shower but he wasn’t moving. “You alright?” He called in a little louder, thinking maybe Clint was feeling shy and not wanting to verbally respond. 

But he made no movement and Bucky pursed his lips. “I’m coming in unless you tell me not to.” 

He waited a moment more then pushed the door the rest of the way open and walked over to the shower. Clint still hadn’t moved and Bucky’s concern was growing into fear. 

“Clint?” He tried again before slowly pulling open the shower door.

Clint was slumped against the wall, asleep. Bucky laughed out a sigh of relief. It looked like Clint hadn’t even started to wash himself before falling asleep on his feet. 

“Poor baby,” Bucky muttered fondly to himself, biting back a grin. He took a step back and considered what to do. Clint needed to be cleaned up but he hadn’t wanted Bucky to give him a bath. Could he give him a shower? 

Bucky stripped his shirt and jeans off, leaving his boxers on before stepping into the shower. The shower was so ridiculously big it took Bucky a couple steps to reach Clint. 

“Come on honey, you can’t sleep here,” Bucky said, wrapping his hands around Clint’s upper arms. 

As Bucky predicted, Clint snapped awake and nearly slipped but Bucky held fast and Clint just stumbled a bit. 

“Wha,” he blinked, disoriented. “What happened?”

“I think you fell asleep in the shower honey.”

“Oh,” Clint mumbled and flushed, the embarrassment creeping in.

“Can I help you clean up?”

Clint bit his lip and looked at some point over Bucky’s shoulder. 

“I’ll be fast, I promise.” 

“Okay.” He said softly. 

Bucky smiled widely and reached for the loofah. 

“Thank you.”

Clint just nodded, ignoring Bucky getting soap, and reached for the shampoo. He squeezed a good amount into his hands and reached up to scrub his hair, but as soon as he lifted his arm above his shoulder the pain flared up again and Clint sucked in a deep gasp, eyes watering up. 

“Oh buddy,” Bucky immediately put the soap down and took Clint’s hands, lowering them slowly and scooping the shampoo from them. “We’re gonna get some painkillers after this alright? And your daddy has a nice lotion that will help too.” 

“It hurts,” Clint responded quietly. 

“I know, I’m gonna take care of you doll. No need to worry,” Bucky said, taking a step closer and started washing his hair. 

Clint was amazed at Bucky’s professional but kind assistance. He scrubbed him gently, massaged shampoo into his hair which went a long way to help ease the lingering headache. Clint didn’t feel ashamed even once, where he would have normally with anyone else in this situation but Daddy and Tasha. He hadn’t really let Steve give him a bath alone yet, still clinging tightly to Tony whenever it was mentioned. 

“Good boy Clint,” Bucky said softly to him, rinsing off the remaining soap before pulling him into a hug. He started rubbing Clint’s back, and Clint melted into the embrace. It felt so nice Clint nearly dozed off again, his head lolling a bit. 

“Hey now, none of that, let's get you into some pjs and in bed before you fall asleep again.” Bucky reached over him and turned the shower off. 

Clint let Bucky manhandle him out of the shower and dry him off. Bucky then quickly dried himself and ushered Clint to his room, leaving the towel around Clint's shoulders. 

“Let’s get you ready for bed doll,” Bucky said, taking Clint’s hand and directing him next to the bed. He didn’t ask if Clint needed help with his pajamas, instead just grabbing the diaper bag from the closet and brought it over to the bed. 

Clint had sat down and was lazily sucking on his thumb, his eyes half lidded. 

Bucky grabbed a pacifier and swapped it for Clint’s thumb, then put his teddy bear in his arms. 

“Let me get some of this lotion on you first,” Bucky murmured, keeping his voice low and what he hoped was soothing. 

The lotion had a pleasant smell as he squeezed a dollop into his hands. He rubbed his hands together to warm up the lotion a bit before turning to Clint and rubbing it into his shoulder.

Clint’s eyes fluttered closed and he sighed out a long breath.

“Does that feel good doll?” 

Clint nodded and Bucky continued to gently massage his shoulders for a while after the lotion had all been rubbed in. Once Bucky was certain that Clint was on the edge of sleep did he release him.

Bucky knew he had to move swiftly here, he had a plan of attack already in his mind. It certainly helped that Clint was so tired, and he didn’t resist when Bucky put a hand on his shoulder and pressed him back to lay down. 

Clint went willingly and Bucky wiped his hands on the nearby towel. 

“Gonna be nice and quick here,” he said.

He quickly got out a diaper and lifted Clint’s hips sliding it underneath him. “Almost done,” he murmured and glanced up at Clint. 

The baby was absorbed in his teddy bear, squeezing it tightly and with eyes closed he rubbed his face against the soft fur. 

Bucky paused to watch him for a moment, a fond smile grew across his face. He then went back to the task at hand, gently pushing Clint’s thighs apart, sprinkled the baby powder over his genitals and pulled the front of the diaper up and over, tapping the sides down. “Not bad for my first go, huh?”

Looking up at Clint, he saw that he was was watching him through hazy eyes and Bucky met his gaze, smiling. 

“All better, huh buddy?” Bucky said reaching up and rubbing Clint’s tummy. Clint flushed and turned his head to the side, unable to keep the eye contact. Bucky chuckled and moved to sit him up again. “Let’s get you settled.”

In a few minutes, Clint was cozy in his pajamas, Aja in his arms, and sucking lazily on his pacifier and blinking blearily up at Bucky. He ran his fingers through Clint’s damp hair and down to his face and cupped his cheek with a fond smile. He had the feeling that Clint was pretty tiny right now and his heart fluttered with the idea of how he trusted him to be so little. It might not have been intentional, but at least he hadn’t kicked Bucky out. 

He was ready to enact phase two of his plan. 

Bucky reached down and scooped Clint off the bed to pull the covers back and put him down. “I’ll be right back, okay?”

Clint nodded and rolled over, burying his face into the pillows. 

Bucky went out to the kitchen and turned on the kettle and grabbed the bottle of chocolate milk from the fridge, and some of the liquid pain reliever pm medication from the cabinet. It was flavorless and the added sleep agent would do wonders for Clint. 

When the water was hot, he put it in a bowl and then the bottle and took the moment of downtime to send a quick text to Steve and Tony. 

It was only a few minutes or so when Bucky went to check the bottle and deemed it a good temperature and he grabbed it and a towel before going back to Clint’s room. 

Clint was just where he left him, not really sleeping but not really awake either. 

Bucky smiled and sat on the side of the bed, placing the bottle on the nightstand before he and wrapped his arms around Clint and pulled him up to be leaning against him. He got a small whine as he guided Clint to be resting on his chest again, Clint’s head on his shoulder and arm around Clint’s shoulders. 

“I thought you might like-” Bucky was cut off by his phone ringing. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his Starkphone. Steve and Tony were video calling.

“Hey look doll,” He nudged Clint with his shoulder gently getting his attention, “It’s your daddy.”

Clint perked up and Bucky accepted the call. In a few seconds, Steve and Tony were looking back at them, Tony with a wide smile and immediately moving to take a screenshot of Clint and Bucky.

“Daddy!” Clint said in a way that was somehow excited and exhausted, followed shortly by “Dada!” in the same tone. Bucky looked down at Clint in shock, and looking back at the screen, he could see Steve looked like he was going to cry. Bucky rolled his eyes fondly but felt emotion well up in his own chest too. Steve had confided in them that he accepted that he didn’t think Clint was ever going to give him a parental moniker. He had said it in a very defeated tone that made both him and Tony wrap Steve up in a hug but there really wasn’t anything they could have said to make it better.

Now though, maybe it was because Clint was feeling so little and it slipped or he missed them so much or that he was so tired and out of it, but either way he could see the joy from both Tony and Steve about Steve’s new title.

“Hi sweetheart,” Steve said, affection seeping through his voice.

“Hey there peanut,” Tony said. “How are you feeling?”

“‘M tired Daddy,” Clint said, sounding exhausted.

“I know, it’s past your bedtime.”

Clint grumbled but didn’t respond.

“Are you still feeling sore?” Steve asked.

Clint paused before quietly answering “Yes,” he bit his lip then added, “It hurts Dada,” 

“Oh sweetheart,” Steve said voice full of emotion. “I wish I was there and could make it stop.” Bucky saw Tony glance at him with a small smile before leaning into Steve a little more.

“I was just about to give him some medicine,” Bucky chimed in.

“No,” Clint whined.

“Come on sweetheart, can you be our good boy?” Steve asked, “it’ll make you feel better.”

Clint’s eyes watered up. He wanted his daddies. “When you comin’ back?”

“Soon honey,” Tony chimed in. “We’ll be back before you know it.”

Bucky rubbed his free hand down Clint’s arm, and pulled a knee up so he could rest the phone against it and have both his hands. “I thought you might like a story before bed?” 

Clint glanced up at Bucky before looking back at Tony and Steve. He didn’t want to end the call, and he wanted Tony and Steve here with them. Tony was the best storyteller but Steve did the best voices. 

“I dun want to say bye,” Clint said, a tear rolling down his cheek.

“Neither do we darling,” Tony said. “Bucky told us which book he grabbed for you, and we thought we could all read it together.” 

“We can?” Bucky reached up and wiped his tears away.

Tony chuckled. “Yes baby, we can.” Clint watched as he pulled out a Starktab. 

Bucky took this opportunity to grab the bottle and while Clint was distracted, he pushed the nipple into Clint’s mouth. Clint startled a little and looked back at Bucky again, but Bucky just smiled at him and squeezed the plastic so some chocolate milk came out. Clint’s eyes widened but he didn’t push Bucky away and started to slowly nurse the bottle. He turned his attention back to the screen as Tony started reading.

“There is no lake at Camp Green Lake. There once was a very large lake here, the

largest lake in Texas. That was over a hundred years ago. Now it is just a dry, flat

Wasteland…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this got really soft but not to worry, moments of weakness when you're in pain are expected. Clint's not going to tolerate it when he's feeling better in the morning ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 
> 
> Hey happy holidays! I hope you and yours have a safe, kind, and enjoyable holiday season.
> 
> So with the holidays coming up and seeing how I can't keep to my own schedule, I don't want to promise an update next Friday, but I am shooting for next weekend. We'll see how the week goes (0u0)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wooo happy new year!

After a month of being constantly on edge and unable to sleep deeply, Clint wakes up slowly and feeling warm. Whenever he falls asleep in his little headspace he always wakes up pretty hazy, barring an assemble alarm or an emergency, so the next morning was no different. The headache that had subsided with the medication was back, but it was more a low throb that was just noticeable to be annoying. He wanted to go back to sleep. He was still so tired. 

Awareness came to him slowly, and the events of the night before came rushing back to him. He quietly groaned and rolled over onto his stomach before opening his eyes. 

He was alone in the nursery. Aja was nearby, and so was the pacifier he’d originally fallen asleep with. The memory of Bucky rubbing his back as Tony and Steve read the story to him made him feel giddy for a moment until he realized he went against everything he’d planned to avoid. 

How could he do that? He let Bucky-he let Bucky put a diaper on him-he barely tolerated it when Tony did-

and he’d called Steve- he called him Dada...

_Great job, Clint_. He thought to himself. _Play it casual to keep them around longer, really good job at that_.

He had ruined all of it. It was over. He took in a shuddering breath. This is what he had planned. He said that in the morning he would be big and he would stop abusing his teammates trust and time into this stupid little routine.

He sat up slowly, he noticed his diaper was wet and wrinkled his nose, feeling a deep frustration rising within him. He let out a sound in anger but pushed himself up off the bed. He’d take care of it later. He got up, grabbed Aja and headed for the door. 

He made it only a few steps to the elevator when he heard Bucky call to him from the kitchen. 

“Hey buddy! I didn’t think you’d be up for a little longer. Do you want breakfast?”

“No, thanks.” 

“Okay, why don’t you have a seat on the couch and put on some cartoons? I’m just going to clean up in here really quick and I’ll be with ya.”

“No, I’m good actually.”

“You okay?” Bucky asked, confused.

“Thanks for last night. I’m gonna head down to my floor.”

Bucky looked at him confused. “You feeling alright doll?”

“I’m fine.” He gritted out. “I’m not-“ he struggled with the word, “I’m not little. And I have some things to do.”

Bucky nodded, trying to keep the disappointment off of his face. “Do you want help getting out of your pajamas?” The unspoken question of if he needed his diaper changed sat loudly in the room. 

“No! I said I’m fine!” Clint yelled, he hands balling into fists. 

“Hey, there’s no need to yell.” Bucky said evenly, trying to keep calm. “It’s okay if you do need help.” He said with a soft smile, “There’s nothing to be embarrassed about.”

Clint scoffed. “I’m not, I just think it’s a little patronizing alright?”

Bucky furrowed his brow. “I’m not tryin to patronize you or make you feel dumb, Clint. I just want to help you. You remember what I said last night, don’t you?”

Clint shook his head, not meeting Bucky’s eyes.

“I said that I’ve been wanting to take care of you for a while.”

“You don’t mean that.”

“What? I wouldn’t have said it if I didn’t.”

“Whatever-I’ve got shit to do,” Clint said trying to end the conversation.

“Absolutely not, you need to rest and we clearly have things we need to discuss.”

But Clint had had enough.“Why can’t you mind your own business?”

“Clint,” Bucky said in a warning tone, taken aback.

“No! You’re not my-“ Clint stopped himself from saying daddy. He wasn’t little. He probably wouldn’t have one soon anyways. 

Bucky breathed in slowly and deeply. “I know I’m not your daddy, but he-“

“Then leave me alone!”

“Clint what did I say about yelling.”

“You can’t tell me what to do!”

“I think we should talk about this.”

“No  _ I’ve  _ had it! You can’t just come here and do that to me!”

“That’s enough.”

“You said you wanted to talk! So here I am! I guess I don’t get a say in that either!”

“Enough!” Bucky finally shouted. The stillness that followed was deafening

Clint felt his eyes well up and he started to cry. 

“Clint,” Bucky said softly, reaching a hand towards him. 

But it was too much. It was just like his father. The yelling, the fake calm, and then…

Clint let out a sob and ran for the elevator knowing it would open automatically and he began desperately pushing the button to his floor. He glanced at Bucky one last time as the doors closed, expecting him to have run after him but the man hadn’t moved. And then the doors shut. 

Bucky stared at the closed doors before sighing. “Fuck.”

  
  
  
  
  


Clint got himself under control enough to stumble into his bedroom. He collapsed on the bed and pulled Aja to him. He wasn’t sure how long he laid there crying before JARVIS spoke up. 

“Clint?”

“I’m not little!” He shouted hoarsely. 

JARVIS hesitated, “Very well sir, Sergeant Barnes is asking after your health.”

“I’m fine.”

“Of course. And Agent Romanov is requesting entry.”

“No.”

It was silent for a moment. 

“I’m afraid, Agent Barton, that she is insisting.”

“Why can’t they mind their own business?!” He shouted, grabbing a pillow and throwing it against the wall. “I don’t want either of them!”

The silence spoke volumes as JARVIS didn’t speak again. 

Clint sniffled and snuggled down into his bed again, pulling the covers over himself and Aja close to his chest. He let out a whimper, “I want my daddy,” he said quietly to himself, knowing that he probably didn’t have one anymore, and cried himself to an uneasy sleep. 

~*~*~

When he woke up again, his room was quiet and dark. He hadn’t bothered to open the blinds when he got back, but he could tell it was well past mid morning. 

Sitting up, he rubbed his eyes and moved to get out of the bed and let out a cry of pain. He glanced down at himself and slapped his forehead. The diaper. He didn’t take it off before falling asleep. he groaned at his stupidity--he should have taken it off as soon as he got down to his floor, but at the same time, it looks like it was a good thing he didn't. He’d wet himself again. There was a wet spot on the sheets and Clint was humiliated. At least there was no one here to see it. 

He pushed himself off the bed and ripped the diaper off, grimacing as he took stock of the rash. He groaned and got up carefully and stripped the bed. He then grabbed the diaper to throw in the garbage and headed for the shower. 

He did his best to clean up, but it was really painful and he didn't know what to do. He hadn’t had this problem for a while. He never used diapers before when he was alone, and when Tony started playing with him there was a single time it happened. Tony had rushed to buy cream for him to ease the pain, and they spent the day laying around the workshop. That felt like ages ago now, and Clint would have no idea where that cream was. It would be hard to put it on himself too. He blushed, after his tantrum this morning there was no way he could ask for help from anyone either and absolutely no way he could go up to the nursery to search for it. Tony was going to be mad at him for yelling at Bucky, and he was probably over this whole thing. Last night Steve and Tony finally had some alone time and he ruined that for them too. 

“Way to fucking go,” Clint muttered to himself and he tried to gently scrub his genitals. He didn’t hold back his cries while alone in the shower, knowing no one would hear him. 

When he finished up, he got out and dried himself off and went to sit on the bare mattress. He wasn’t sure how to take care of this, and he didn’t want to ask JARVIS. He wasn’t sure if the AI could feel annoyance or anger but he really didn’t want to push it. Everyone else was already tired of dealing with him, even if it was his own fault, he didn’t need the entity running his living space irritated at him too.

He wasn’t feeling as big as he convinced himself he was, but he needed something for his headache and now this rash. He supposed the only thing to do was to see Bruce. 

Bruce was in his lab as per usual, and waved Clint in. 

“Hi Clint, welcome back.”

“Hey Bruce, thanks.”

“Not that I’m not happy to see you, but you usually don’t come down here. Do you need something?”

“Uh yeah, so, I got knocked around a bit on the mission and I’m out of pain meds.”

Bruce stared at him with that evaluating look for a long moment before nodding. 

“Why don’t you hop up on my table here and I’ll give you a quick exam.”

“I don’t think that’s necessary. Mild concussion, aching muscles, I sprained my ankle.”

“...yeah, but I would feel better if I could take your vitals at least.”

Clint glanced at the table. Wearing his jeans and boxers hurt enough without moving around in them. 

“Clint?” Bruce called softly. “Does it hurt too much?” He asked, catching on that Clint might not be big. 

“It’s just really sore.”

Bruce nodded and pulled up a chair. “Sit here, let me go get my supplies.”

When Bruce turned his back, Clint gingerly sat, wincing. 

Bruce return a minute or so later and took his vitals. He looked in his eyes and listened to his lungs. 

“Alright. I’m going to give you some Tylenol. I don’t think you need to be on a class higher than that-unless you’re still feeling dizzy?”

“Nah just headache.”

“Good. Just some bruising then.”

“Yeah…” Clint trailed off. 

“Is there something else?”

“Well...you see, um, I’ve got a...rash. And it hurts pretty bad.”

“Ah,” Bruce said, leaning back on the table. “Can I take a look?”

“I would prefer you didn’t.”

“Can you describe it to me? If it’s fungal I might not have the right-“

“It’s not!” Clint shouted in embarrassment. 

Bruce raised an eyebrow at the outburst. 

Clint cleared his throat. “It’s not.” He said much calmer. 

Neither of them said anything for a long moment. 

“Are you feeling alright, buddy?”

“I’m not little.”

Bruce nodded, “because I’d love to spend the day with you if you are,” He offered. “I don’t have anything pressing that can’t wait till tomorrow.”

Clint felt the familiar shame wash over him. He really had disrupted everyone. Forget breaking up Tony, Steve, and Bucky, pushing Natasha away, and angering JARVIS, he was now interfering with Bruce’s daily activities too. 

“No.” He said firmly. “Do you have anything I can put on my skin?”

Bruce sighed. “I can’t really unless you let me look at it.”

Clint nodded and stood up. “Thanks anyways Bruce.”

“Clint,”

“I’m fine. Don’t worry about it.” 

“Okay. I’m going to check in on you later and see how you’re doing.”

“Yeah whatever man, thanks for the drugs.” Clint headed for the door.

“I don’t think I need to tell you this but no alcohol with those. Seriously.”

“Yes mom.” Clint said, heading for the door.

“Clint, if the rash isn’t better in a couple of hours, you really need to tell someone. Fresh air and some petroleum jelly will usual help too.”

“Got it.” Clint replied before leaving. He went back to his floor and gently sat down on the couch and flipped on the television. He made sure to put on something violent and mature and settled in. Once he felt more put together, he would start to dismantle the whole thing. He needed to be an adult for fucks sake. This had to stop before he lost their friendship too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter felt kinda short to me but it felt better to cut it here than addwhat I have planned for later. Also I had a hard time writing this one...not super sure what that was about lol but adding more to it felt like beating a dead horse so I figure I’ll get my nonsense sorted in the next chapter 
> 
> Will I post the next chapter Friday? I don’t know, I don’t have 2020 vision! (Sorry) 
> 
> But for serious I probably won’t update until the next Friday


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiii thanks for waiting! Life and all that. 
> 
> ребенок - (the) baby

It always sucked to get a call out to assemble in the middle of the week-even more so in the middle of the day. But when duty calls there isn’t much freedom for wiggle room. 

Bucky looked around the site, the damage around uptown wasn’t too extensive but it was enough that some of them should stay back and help SHIELD with clean up. Tony had to get right back to SI, stating gleefully that at least he’d been able to skip an hour or so of the never ending QC meeting, and waved goodbye to them before flying back in the suit. Clint had a misstep and a small tumble, he had taken a bit of a bashing when he fell. Nothing too serious, but his arm had been scraped against the rough asphalt and he had the beginning of road rash on his left bicep. 

Once the time wasting fight was done-seriously, they hadn’t needed to call the Avengers for broken Hammer tech rampaging up and down the streets-Steve had place a firm hand on Clint’s right shoulder and guided him towards his bike before looking to Natasha. 

“I’ll take him to medical. Would you mind-“

“Of course,” Natasha said, cutting him off. “Go take care of ребенок.” 

Steve nodded, gave a quick wave to Bucky, then got settled on his bike and pulled Clint on behind him. 

Bucky watched pensively as Steve drove off before turning to Natasha. “ребенок?” 

She leveled him with a neutral gaze before jerking her head for him to follow. “Come on. We have clean up.”

Bucky nodded before following. “Is this about that room on Tony’s floor?” He asked her in Russian. 

“You already know the answer to that.”

“As do you.”

“Then why ask?” 

Bucky paused for a moment. “They’ve been dancing around it. I see what’s going on but they don’t want to outright say it.”

“Because you’ve been asking the wrong questions.” Natasha responded, picking up one of her stray knives. 

“Your riddles aren’t as clever as you think they are.” Bucky huffed. 

Natasha smirked at him. “Then why don’t you go find what you’re looking for?”

Bucky stared at her, then glanced around the area. She, Bruce, and Thor could handle clean up. He nodded at her then turned to leave. 

“One more thing,” she called after him. “Be gentle.” 

He rolled his eyes but left. 

The trip back to the tower was short enough, JARVIS greeted him when he got in the elevator. It might have been his imagination but he felt that the trip up was slower than usual. 

Steve and Clint had beat him back by just under an hour, but the penthouse was oddly quiet and empty. He figured that Steve would be in medical still but sort of expected him back by now. He started walking towards the shared bedroom when he heard a faint sound. 

It was from  _ that _ room. Bucky crept closer to the door, it was slightly open. He leaned against the frame and peered inside. 

He’d never been in this room but he walked by it daily. Tony and Steve had politely asked that he not go in there until they deemed the situation “comfortable,” and while he didn’t quite understand what they meant, he respected their request for privacy. That said, he knew it had to do with Clint, and he knew it was something regarding something that Clint found shameful. He couldn’t have begun to imagine what he saw now. 

The room was decorated in furniture clearly meant for a baby but adult sized. On one wall there was a mural-likely Steve’s doing- of a rainbow of birds flying over a skyline towards an ocean. There was a large toy chest, a hammock swing in one corner, a purple play tent in the other, filled with stuffed animals. A bookshelf lined with childrens and young adult books. 

Steve was sitting in a large rocking chair that was clearly meant for at least two adults, with Clint draped across his lap. They were facing the window, but angled so Bucky could see just about everything. 

He could hear that Clint was sniffling, and he’d buried his face in Steve’s shoulder. 

“I know sweetheart,” Steve said while rubbing his hand up and down his back. “You did so good today baby, I’m really proud of you.”

Clint whined, so Steve gently pushed his foot off the ground and began rocking them in the chair. 

“Close your eyes for me honey,” Steve pressed a kiss to the top of Clint’s head. “The medicine will kick in soon.”

Bucky knew that it wasn’t that serious of an injury to invoke a reaction that would have Clint acting like a child but he still felt a wave of concern rushing through him and found it hard to stay hidden. Regardless of what was happening, Clint was still his friend. 

It felt like hours but Clint’s sniffles slowly tapered off and Steve slowed the rocking. “You’re alright sweetie.”

Clint huffed. “I want teddy,” he said, a little grumpy. 

“I had to throw him in the wash, remember?”

More tears sprang to Clint’s eyes and he angrily rubbed at his face. 

“What about your Iron Man plush?”

Clint didn’t respond. He looked out the window, his lower lip trembling in a sure sign that he’d be crying again soon. 

“Baby, what’s wrong?”

“I don’t wanna be alone,” he uttered miserably. Bucky felt his heart clench and suddenly the reason Steve and Tony were wary to tell him about all this came to him as a startling realization. He meant more than sleeping without his favorite toy.

“Oh baby,” Steve crooned, tugging Clint back towards him. “You’re not alone. I’m here.”

“You won’t stay.” 

“Yes I will. I’ll hold you all night, I can be your substitute Aja. How does that sound?”

Clint leaned back and eyed him critically. “You don’t have to,”

“I know I don’t have to. I want to.” 

Steve got up to move and Bucky took a step away from the door so he wouldn’t be spotted. He remained hidden just outside of view, listening to Steve pull back the covers on the bed and get the two of them comfortable. 

“Want me to tell you a story?” Bucky heard Steve say. 

“No,” Clint mumbled, his voice muffled. 

“Alright sweetie. Here,” a pause. “Just close your eyes I’m here.” 

Bucky took a chance and peaked in. Clint’s back was to him as he was again buried in Steve’s chest. He was clutching an Iron man doll, and had a pacifier in his mouth. Steve had wrapped his arms around Clint and was again rubbing his back. 

Bucky glanced at Steve, who was staring at him. Steve gave him a nervous smile, and Bucky, even though he hadn’t ever encountered this in any sort of capacity, gave back a gentle smile, knowing that Steve would know he accepted whatever this was. 

Steve did, the nervousness melted away and he quietly sighed in relief. 

Bucky stood there, leaning against the doorframe, watching Steve lull Clint to sleep like he would to a baby. After a while, a hand rested on his shoulder. He glanced down to see Tony, peaking in himself. Bucky could tell Tony was nervous too, but he met Steve’s eyes who nodded to him. 

Tony looked at Bucky with a small smile and leaned up and kissed his cheek, then moved into the room. He walked over to the bed and did the same to Steve before running a hand through Clint’s hair, gently waking him. 

“Daddy…” Clint mumbled tiredly. 

“Hi baby,” Tony said quietly. “Did you two eat yet?” 

“Not yet. We were sleepy.” Steve replied. 

“Sleepy,” Clint echoed, his eyes drifting closed again. 

Tony chuckled fondly. “I’ll get dinner started and come get you when it’s ready, okay?”

“Mhm,” 

“Sounds good babe.”

Tony lingered a moment more watching his boys before what looked like forcibly pulling himself away and back towards Bucky. 

He wrapped an arm around Bucky’s and lead him towards the kitchen. 

Bucky took a seat on the barstool at the island and watched as Tony got some pans out and pulled some food out of the fridge. 

“You…” Tony started, “you probably have a lot of questions.”

“Yeah you could say that.” Bucky replied but his voice held nothing more than genuine curiosity and what he hoped what was a reassuring tone. 

Tony chuckled and began talking. 

That was months ago. God, Bucky could still remember that day as though it happened yesterday. After that, Tony and Steve were so happy and so much more open with Bucky in a way that he didn’t even realize they were missing. 

It was little things like when they were grocery shopping and Tony would grab the avenger themed Mac and cheese despite Steve’s disapproving gaze and prepared lecture on why it’s not healthy and Tony would say something like, you think Clint won’t love this?

Or when Steve would spot a cute and soft stuffed animal from a show that Clint liked and would excitedly grab it for Clint, also despite Tony’s protests of “I think he has enough stuffed animals,” and Steve would just smile at him and ignore his words and buy it anyways leaving Tony sputtering. 

Tons of other small daily interactions like that popped up and Bucky couldn’t believe he’d missed it before. It was adorable to see how they dotted on Clint. When discussing their days with Bucky, they no longer felt like they had to hide it. (Even if Clint wasn’t entirely aware that Bucky knew what was going on). Bucky found himself falling deeper in love with them. His boyfriends were so happy and the few glances he did get of the three of them age playing warmed his heart. He treasured those memories. It wasn’t long before he brought it up to them that he wanted to be involved. 

And now, now Bucky stared at the empty space where Clint had been standing a moment before. Now there was this to deal with.

“Fuck.” he repeated. He started pacing back and forth from the kitchen to the living room. Did he ruin it? 

Did he destroy that happiness? What would Steve and Tony say? Well he knew they’d be much more rational in this moment than he was, he can’t imagine that they’ve never dealt with a Clint Barton temper tantrum, and he can’t imagine that he’d gotten a taste of what it could have been. And he highly doubted that Tony- at least- hadn’t seen it before. 

He took a deep breath and pulled out his phone. He shot a quick text to Tony and Steve, hoping they were free but knew they had a meeting this morning. 

“JARVIS?”

“Yes Sergeant Barnes?”

“Is Natasha around?”

“Yes she is. Would you like me to invite her up?” 

“Yes please.” He paused for a moment. “JARVIS did I ruin it?”

“I do not think so, Sergeant. Given history and past data, this does not seem incredibly monumental.”

Bucky nodded, taking a seat on a barstool. He rested his arms on the granite and fumbled with his phone, hoping one of his boyfriends would respond soon. 

Moments later, the elevator dinged and Natasha walked in. 

She said nothing but walked up to him, eyebrow raised. 

“I fucked it up.”

“I very much doubt it. What did you do?”

“He was, well I guess he was having a tantrum and he wouldn’t stop and I yelled.”

Natasha let out a sigh. “I did tell you to be gentle with him.”

“He wouldn’t stop yelling, so I told him that was enough. And then…”

“And then he got all teary eyed and took off.”

“Essentially.”

“You didn’t ruin anything James.”

“He’s scared of me.”

“He’s scared of affection and boundaries. He’s scared of ripping the team apart. He’s not scared of you.” 

“Then why did he-“ Bucky cut himself off, but was frustrated. 

“Little kids do that. They push. He’s not thinking logically, he’s thinking his daddy is out of town and he was left with the babysitter that his daddy is into.”

“You make it sound like a really shitty movie.”

“Just putting it into perspective,” Natasha shrugged. “It feels to me like you’re overreacting.”

“Natasha if I fucked up, it’s not me getting to play with Clint. It’s Tony and Steve too. And Clint. Clint won’t do this without them.”

“You don’t know that. You’re spiraling.”

“You know that this isn’t exactly ideal.”

“James do you sincerely believe that you alone have the power to control whether or not Clint is going to age play?”

Bucky scoffed. “Obviously not, but-“

“And do you think that Tony would let this go?”

“No but-“

“And do you think Clint-do you think anyone can resist Steve when he’s got that look in his eyes?”

Bucky paused before replying, thinking of the night before. “Clint called him Dada last night.”

Natasha paused in her onslaught, a realization dawning. “Ah. Now it makes sense. Two steps forward and three steps back. The Clint Barton special.”

Bucky sighed, “Steve was so happy.”

“I imagine he was. He’s wanted nothing more than to gain Clint’s trust like that.”

“And now-“

“And now Clint has got it in his head that he’s ruined it. Not you James.”

Bucky stared at the counter. “Then what do I do now?”

“You win him back.”

“How do I even begin to do that?”

“Let’s start brainstorming.”

Bucky nodded, it was a start certainly, but first, “JARVIS?”

“Yes Sergeant?” 

“How is Clint doing?”

JARVIS was silent for a moment. “I’m afraid that he wishes to be left alone.”

Natasha and Bucky exchanged looks. They expected a dismissal but more in the form of ‘I’m fine, stop harassing me,’ rather than, well, rather than this childish temper tantrum.

“I’m going to go down and check on him. JARVIS can you let him know I’m on my way?”

Another moment. “He is requesting that you don’t.”

Natasha narrowed his eyes. “Tell him I’m not asking.” She said in a deadly tone, heading for the elevator. 

“Agent Romanoff, Agent Barton is requesting that you both, and I quote “mind your own business. I don’t want either of them.” Unquote.”

Natasha stopped in her tracks and looked back at Bucky. 

Bucky closed his eyes with a sigh. He was back to square one. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year! 
> 
> I think I'm gonna move the updates to Sunday, I work two jobs and that's the only day I have off right now. I also write audio dramas for podcasts so its been a juggle lol.
> 
> I'm on tumblr @bluedays-writing


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